Being Social When You’re Anti-Social

How to navigate situations that force you to be social without getting overwhelmed.

It can be very difficult to be an introvert sometimes. You keep to yourself or prefer to be in your own space, and often times people think you're stuck up or rude when, in actuality, you're just kind of minding your own business. Especially if you are just naturally an anti-social individual. You don't want to come off as rude, but you are just quiet. I definitely understand both sides, as an anti-social person and an observer but, I think being anti-social without coming off as rude is a skill to be mastered.

First, you have to understand why you might be anti-social. Do you get anxious around crowds or get overwhelmed talking to strangers? Did you have a bad experience in the past that was embarrassing or triggering for you? Understanding why you feel this way will help you overcome how you feel and let you know what to avoid in the future. Being anti-social may seem like the easiest way to navigate life, but it honestly can make you depressed. If you are the type of person who hates speaking or being spoken to, I can imagine it is difficult to navigate life that way. You might be missing out on fun experiences or even meeting a new friend.

To be more social when you are naturally anti-social, you have to have some sense of situational awareness. Don't go to a large group event or anything of that nature that might require you to participate in a group setting. Likely wise, if you are going to an event or a place where you are a representative of someone, for example, a child or disabled family member, understand that you are speaking for someone else and you want their voice or opinion to be heard.

If there is one major tip I could give someone who is anti-social, trying to be more social, it would simply be to take your time with yourself. Practice having a conversation one-on-one first. If you see another parent at school, spark up a conversation. See a cashier at a store you go to often? Ask them about their day. Day by day, you will become more comfortable being social and sparking up a conversation out of midair. I promise, after a while, you will not be as anxious or hesitant as before. Also, you never know what opportunities or connections you might create with people just by being yourself. Especially as a creative or entrepreneur, it is essential to your business to be social, even if you don't want to be. Being social definitely has some benefits.

If you ever find yourself getting anxious or overwhelmed when your "social meter" runs out, don't worry. Take a deep breath and try to listen to the person to understand, not just respond. Answer their question or talk to them in a calm manner. Don't just walk off mid-conversation. We are all humans, and I'm sure we all have done this at least once in our lives. You're talking to someone, and next you know, your phone rings or you are distracted by your child. Just politely tell the person, "It was great talking to you, but I have to go now! I will see you around." Or even, "I have to go now, but have a great day!" Either one of those responses is great. You get your point across, but you are still being polite at the same time.

I would love to hear your opinions in the comment section. Is being anti-social something you struggle with? If so, is that something you are planning on fixing this year? Do you believe you are naturally anti-social, or did something cause you to be that way? What advice would you give someone who is anti-social and wants to change?

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